Let me start by sharing some stories with you.
Last week I was on holiday with my family. We were staying in West Kirby, a small town on the Wirral in the UK. It’s a beautiful spot, with big skies and amazing views over the estuary. While there we regularly went out for walks and it was glorious. I came back with a smile on my face and colour in my cheeks.
A friend of mine told me she was having one of those days when the world seems a bit ‘much’. She was feeling overwhelmed. So she stopped everything and went out for a walk and fed the birds. She focused on the things that made her smile.
Another friend was due to help out with a community event at the place where she lives. But when she got out of bed that day her back was really painful and she was struggling to walk without pain. So even though she loves being an active part of her community, she decided to stay in her flat and lie in the positions she needed for her back. By the end of the day, she was much more mobile again.
Not selfish
These are all examples of self-kindness. When we think about kindness, it is often in relation to other people. But it’s important to remember that we need it too.
Sometimes people tell me that they don’t want to do things just for them because it makes them feel guilty. But I don’t think it’s selfish to look after yourself. If you don’t take care of you – mentally and physically – you’re not going to be well enough to help others.
Take the example of my friend with a bad back. If she hadn’t stopped for a while and had tried to push on instead, she would probably have ended up with a more serious back problem and then it wouldn’t have been just one event that she missed.
And my friend who was feeling low might have ended up feeling more seriously downbeat and withdrawn from connecting with other people for longer.
Different ideas
Kindness to yourself means different things to different people. It might be a bubble bath, a good book or a sit down for 10 minutes with a cup of coffee. It might be ignoring the impostor syndrome voice in your head that tells you that you don’t belong. It might be making more time to spend with the people you love (or not spending time with those who make you feel bad).
Self-kindness stories sent in to Time for Kindness have covered breaks from work, going swimming, sports massage and more.
Whatever it means to you, make sure that you are kind to yourself as well as others. We all need to recharge our batteries from time to time. Then we’re ready to take on whatever life throws our way.
Busy time
As we all head into the ‘back to school’ phase here in the UK, it can feel that we are ‘supposed’ to be really busy for the rest of the year. And in fact, it often is a part of the year when there is a lot going on, with Christmas or the end of the calendar year forming a natural sort of barrier.
So I think that makes self-kindness even more important at this time of year. We’ve also got World Gratitude Day (21 September), World Mental Health Day (10 October) and World Kindness Day (13 November) all coming up.
How will you be kind to yourself in the coming months? I’d love to hear what you get up to – your idea might inspire others.
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